Have you ever wondered if marriage is for you? Or what life would look like if you decided to not get married? Or if marriage is a measure of how successful you are?
The decision to get married is a tough one, and it requires a substantial amount of clarity for two people to decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. And as much as society expects that we get married and we have people who look forward to marital life, we also have a healthy number of people who although believe in love, do not believe in the concept of marriage.
In the third episode of the MENtality With Ebuka podcast, Ebuka Obi Uchendu and Banky W were joined by Johnny Drille and Alexander Ikemefuna. In this episode, the men discuss relationships, love and marriage, drawing from their various experiences as married men. But there’s a twist to this: one of the guests, Alexander Ikemefuna, does not believe in marriage. He believes in love, but he mentions he has seen and known a lot to not consider marriage an aspiration.
The episode opens with a vulnerable moment of Johnny Drille, narrating how being married doesn’t stop him from progressing in his music career or stopping his partner too. When asked why he decided to get married, he said, “I think at that point I was at a point in my life when I needed that partnership. I don’t think it was just enough to be dating someone that I loved,” despite not being financially ready.
The conversation then drifted towards the importance of marriage and how it is valued in society. To buttress this, Banky W said, “If marriage was the evidence that you’re a successful person, then Jesus Christ and Apostle Paul were failures because they were never married. I don’t think that marriage is an indication of success or purpose fulfilment.” Do you agree? Do you think being married doesn’t indicate success?
Despite his thoughts on the concept of marriage, Alexander Ikemefuna said, “If you’re able to commit at work, you should be able to commit at home,” explaining how commitment is the backbone of a relationship. And it is that lack of commitment that drives relationships sideways.
Just as Banky W said, “It is very possible for two good people to end up in a bad marriage.” Being a good person doesn’t hold a relationship together, but commitment, empathy and kindness.
One of the most important messages of this episode is how no one goes into a relationship fully formed. We all find different sides of ourselves in the relationship. Banky W aptly puts it, “Marriage is the best character-building institution that exists on earth.” While Johnny Drille harnesses the point that “Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially when two people who want to make it work come together to make it work.”
Have you watched this episode? What have you gained from it? What lessons did you derive from it?
If you haven’t watched it, watch it below.
