Mikel Arteta is up to all sorts today, including ‘hilariously’ taking a dog for a walk near his place of work. Meanwhile, there’s bad news for Chelsea and Man City.
Tell tale
A familiar Mediawatch game for you all to enjoy, and one we are as ever confident you handsome devils will win easily.
‘OUR INCENTIVE!’ Arsenal boss Arteta responds to Kop captain Van Dijk’s comments with telling Gunners admission
The traditional prize of a shiny yet fictitious pound for the clever sausage who can tell us how many times Arteta mentions or even hints at any comments made by Virgil van Dijk, or issues anything that could even loosely be called an ‘admission’ of anything. Even by The Sun.
The answer is, of course, none whatsoever.
The clear subtext of that headline is that Van Dijk’s comments have provided the ‘incentive’.
Let’s look at that quote, then.
“Our incentive will be to win the game and continue with the run we’re in right now.”
It’s not one of Mikel’s madder ideas, is it?
We’ve read and re-read the rest of the entirely routine and entirely sane things he said desperately trying to find the ‘telling Gunners admission’ and the best we can come up with is Arteta’s insistence that he won’t field a significantly weakened team with PSG in mind.
“We cannot think in those terms. When players are fit and available, they have to be fit. They are at their best when they play and are consistent in their performances.”
He admits it! He admits that he will field a team of good footballers who are fit and available! The fool!
Bomb blast
That’s not the only bonkers thing that madcap Mikel has been up to, though.
Just look at this headline from The Sun.
‘This is unreal’ – Mikel Arteta accidentally photobombs Sky Sports report as he takes Arsenal dog Win for a walk
They continue to get very excited about this wild event.
Sky Sports were providing an update on Bukayo Saka’s fitness when Arteta interrupted
By the actual first paragraph of the story, they have completely lost the run of themselves.
MIKEL ARTETA hilariously photobombed Sky Sports’ report outside the Arsenal training ground on Tuesday.
Today’s instalment of ‘Words Have Meanings’ has a lot to wade through here. Among the usages Mediawatch has issue with here are ‘photobombs’, ‘interrupted’, ‘unreal’ and above all ‘hilariously’.
Before you think we’re being all miserable in failing to see the inherent hilarity of this hilarious incident, one surely destined to be discussed by future comedy scholars alongside Del Boy falling through the bar, or Basil Fawlty beating up his car, or ‘Don’t tell him, Pike’, or David Brent’s dance, we urge you to watch the entire (brief) clip.
Mikel Arteta taking Win, Arsenal’s chocolate Labrador, for a walk during Sky Sports reporter Gary Cotterill’s report from Sobha Realty Training Centre this evening. 🤣🐶
🎥 @SkySportsPL pic.twitter.com/UtAEHc3Dn5
— afcstuff (@afcstuff) April 22, 2025
Sift through the replies and you’ll even find the source for the ‘unreal’ quote – a Liverpool fan very clearly taking the p*ss.
What we have here is just not unreal, or hilarious, or an interruption, is it? It is quite literally a man walking quietly and unassumingly out of his place of work. That is literally all that happens.
And it is therefore also not a photobomb, is it? It lacks the requisite prank or spoiling effect. It lacks, now we think about it, a photo.
So it’s neither a photo nor a bomb. What you’ve got here is, at best, a videowalk. And that is not a thing.
House call
Shay Given said on Sky Sports on Tuesday night that Kevin De Bruyne still has a lot to offer and could join another Premier League club, before Roy Keane interrupted with a little joke.
Here’s the incredibly brief exchange in full.
Shay Given: Kevin will admit he is not at his peak but you can see he still has a lot to offer. He can turn up at another Premier League club and that is a concern for City.
Roy Keane: United? He wouldn’t have to move house.
To you, to Mediawatch, to almost anyone else on earth, an entirely unremarkable, uncontroversial and instantly forgettable exchange worthy of not one further thought.
To a Mirror headline writer, though, it means this:
Roy Keane names one reason Kevin De Bruyne could join Man Utd after transfer hint
You do almost have to admire it.
Turn up the volume
Mediawatch submits for your consideration perhaps the lowest volume any act from any footballer has ever spoken, courtesy of the Manchester Evening News.
Erling Haaland reaction speaks volumes as Man City grab priceless win over Aston Villa
He celebrated an injury-time winner in a vital match with the scorer of said injury-time winner. The ‘speaks volumes’ response here would be pointedly not doing that.
Nightmare fuel
Hot on the heels of yesterday’s killer setback for Chelsea comes even worse news this morning from Football.London
Chelsea nightmare fixture run-in confirmed as Champions League race intensifies
Yes, it has at last been confirmed that Chelsea’s final five Premier League games will indeed be against the five teams they have so far played only once, dashing any lingering hopes that they might get to play Southampton, Leicester and Ipswich again instead of Liverpool, Newcastle and Nottingham Forest. Rotten luck at this crucial stage of the season.
Great Scott
Mediawatch shares the general air of amusement at the very idea of Burnley boss Scott Parker getting the Tottenham job, but damn near spat out at our cornflakes at this one-two punch from The Sun.
Levy is keen to cement Spurs as a club with a reputation for playing an attacking brand of football alongside a history of bringing through young players.
And these traits are central to Parker’s philosophy.
That’ll be the attacking brand of football that has seen over a quarter of Burnley’s league games this season end in goalless draws while scoring fewer goals than 14th-placed Norwich.
We’re sure plenty of Spurs fans are prepared to stomach something a bit more sensible after Angeball’s unpleasant aftertaste, but less certain they’ll be hoodwinked by appointing the Temu Antonio Conte.
